Tuesday, August 24, 2010

moved.

so I've packed up and moved. stayed in the same city. but still... packed up everything... and moved.

let me tell you all my new favorite things about my new home....
.e-norm-ous windows, in every room but the bathroom and I wouldn't want that room to have a window anyway.
.I can see a big river out my bedroom window. and maybe the wintertime sunsets.
.big closets. for I have too. much. stuff.
.a workout room
.and lots more things but I'm kind of tired right now....

so now I am sitting here, listening to some easy kind of music... and also listening to the new sounds in this new home. I can smell vanilla. and I just ate a banana chocolate chip muffin. life is good.

sorry I haven't been very creative or witty lately. it comes and goes in spurts. this is the "goes" part of those spurts.

seasons.

the summer days
are gone too soon
you shoot the moon
and miss completely
and now you're left to face the gloom
the empty room that once smelled sweetly
of all the flowers you plucked if only
you knew the reason
of why you had to each be lonely
was it just the season?

now the fall is here again
you can't begin to give in
it's all over

when the snows come rolling through
you're rolling too with some new lover
will you think of times you've told me
that you knew the reason
why we had to each be lonely
it was just the season.

-Norah Jones.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

librarian.

I work at the public library. maybe you didn't know.... although I think it would have been hard not to if you've ever read my blog at all. so maybe you did know. but I bet that... even if you knew.... even if you somehow, maybe knew that, I bet that you didn't know that once upon a time.... maybe five years ago or so.... I made a little list of all the things I could be one day... all the things I would like to do in my lifetime. and on that list, one of the things I have written down is to be a librarian. sometimes, its neat for me to remember that. I am, basically, "living the dream".

some days, it's a very good thing to be reminded of.

because on some days, I'm sure that I don't want to do it forever.

but that is besides the point.

the point is that my "friends" make fun of me sometimes. it's all in good fun, and there are actually many things they make fun of me for and I'm pretty good about laughing at myself, and also pretty good about dishing out what I get... so you needn't feel sorry for me.

anyway. like I have mentioned.... they make fun of me because I work in a library (and also because I was homeschooled and also because I have glasses and also because I'm short and also because I wear a retainer on my teeth at night and also because of my high voice and also because of my music and also.... well. you get the idea) (but it's okay. cause I'm cool. and I know that.) (and I'm also sarcastic. more than being cool, I'm lame. BUT I'm okay with lame, and I wear it so it seems cool.)

I didn't take the photo that has me running in it. cause that would have been difficult. but I wanted you to know.

man. I sure am hungry. I wonder if that can be my excuse for being oh-so-very random.

probably not. but look how long this blog looks, and I haven't even gotten to my point yet. whew. I. am. on. a. roooollllllll!

I am so sorry. but I guess if you're still reading, you mustn't mind too terribly much.

anyway. they make fun of me... if I talk about how strong I am and say it's cause I work t the library, they just laugh. imagine! if I talk about the security guy, they laugh and say... "oooh. the library is a pretty dangerous place...." and on it goes.

BUT.... little do they know.... the library is honestly the most dangerous place I have ever worked in my life. so, right there... you can imagine that I haven't worked at too many dangerous places. Starbucks and the Bay and camps are usually kind of normal and nice and safe and fun. you know, good things like those I just mentioned.

let me tell you how dangerous the library is. just today, we had a lady ask to use our phone so she could call the constable because she was sure that someone wanted to kill her dog. (this dog is supposedly a guide dog. but it looks like a little pomeranian. and she carries it. and it's not my job to wonder, but I wonder what it guides her to. or from... or whatever. I'm just too chicken to ask. she would probably call the constable on me.

THEN...
it gets better.

(I like the drama of starting new lines... or whatever you want to call them. I was homechooled.)

THEN.. two cops come in later today, and talked with the Chief Librarian! I tried really hard to listen, but to no avail. SO, my friend at the info desk came and told me that there was maybe a wanted man downstairs on the computer! someone had see a man.. let's call him Lenny... on the computer, looking at a wanted photo on the internet... only it was of himself! so the other fellow went upstairs and, from what I understand, looked it up on the computer himself, and called the police.

how exciting!

so they came. and they left. without a wanted man. but boy, we were so close!

then. one of the girls brought upstairs the outside of non-fiction book. like.. the sleeve. with all the info (barcode and such.) there. the book was gone. someone stole it. "what was the book about?"... you ask. well, let me tell you.... it was just a book about prisons.

yes, prisons.

then. there are the creepers. oh man, how I
LOVE the creepers. actually... it's not always too bad at all. most of them are just bit awkward, and quite harmless. today: there's this one fellow who often calls me sweet thing or some other such non-sense and talks about how I'm looking ... nice. today I had to laugh at him. he told me I was looking radiant in white. "and then... with that blonde hair...." (insert a happy-puppy-dog-with-his-tongue-hanging-out-and-shaking-water-off-himself face here) then we chatted about the government and having books out longer than you should so long as no one has holds on them. it was fun.

then. there are the chillins. (that is gangster for children) somedays.. there are some kids who make me sure that I will not ever have children. but other days.... man they are so gosh durn cute! ie: yesterday. (and I'm about to describe this to you.. like more than I usually would. it was that awesome.)

she bounded up to the desk, light blue eyes as round as saucers and dancing like the northern lights. her hair was dark and wispy and in a wild mess of curls all around her sweet face. she began to chatter away to me in an informative and matter-of-fact sort of way. she talked about how they were bringing their books back and then they were going to get to go into the library and get more books!! as she went on she began to jump up and down just a little towards the end... at the part where she gets to get more books. and I smiled and looked surprised and excited for her, as I felt that that would be the only appropriate response. she was like a fire hydrant. only instead of water, she spouted words. and then, she paused... took in a breath... and said... in an I'm-so-happy-I-could-faint.. or in an I-could-cry-tears-of-joy.... sort of way... she said the words, "I'm so happy" all in one great, deliriously content sigh.

and she made my day.

maybe I should begin to tell you more "a day in the life on a librarian" stories...

Thursday, August 12, 2010

process.

ello. hey, at least I'm consistent in my irregular blogging.

but, if I'm honest, I feel the same about blogging right now as I do about my journaling... or maybe even life in general. I feel as though there's just too much. I want to take time, and enjoy things and live in the moment, and share my thoughts here and in my journal... live in and savor each gift of a breath... but I'm so... .. not always very good at that. sometimes I can be. I like those times. I need to take time to process. I need to re-evaluate my life. I need to take a step back and look at the ways I'm choosing to spend my time, look at the relationships I'm cultivating. look at the dreams I'm pursuing... or maybe discover new ones. I need to look around and ask God and myself if I am where He wants me to be.

but more than any one of those things, I need to take a deep breath, lift my eyes to Everything Lasting and then breath out... knowing that I can delight in HIm and trust the plans He has in store for me will be good ones. He won't let me slip out of his careful hands. (and not careful in the cautious way... well, that too... but more-so, in the full-of-care sort of way.) I'm sure God often just puts his fingers to his temples and rubs and sighs.... "oh Danielle. why, oh why do you insist on making this so complicated? it doesn't have to be. its really quite simple. I LOVE YOU. now walk in the knowledge of that. let it overflow in everything you do. abide in my love. quit worrying. drop all those things you carry... that way you can stand tall and free in my love. I think it's better that way.... but feel free to try it my way when you are done and tired of trying it your own way. just never walk away from my love."

whew. that was good for me.

sometime I should tell you about my whack summer. it's been a wonderful sort of chaos. like a tornado of roses... or a stormy raging sea of sweet summer lemonade.

the photo is of my friend Cheryl and I in a vintage shop in Seattle. it was a lovely day.

goodnight.