baa.

this has been a most lovely sort of weekend. and I have so many highlights and swell stories to share with you, but, alas, I'm afraid you may not hear them all.... I shall try to touch on some of the best moments though. I'm not really sure how to go about this... without it being too confusing.. hmm.. well, let's give it a whirl...

friday.

friday morning dawned bright and glorious. the smell of the morning air was sweet and refreshing. and lots of excitement was in store.... I got to go out to a friend's farm and help out with the whole sheep shearing process. wow. I was so stoked! it was fantastic and I feel like I learned so much! you know how little kids often talk a lot? it's like, every thought that goes through their minds, comes straight out their mouths. well, I really felt like that. I tried to reign in my questions just a tad, but a million thoughts and questions about sheep were running through my mind. such as, do they ever plan their escape? why are some of them mean? why do they jump over a really high invisible wall? how long is their memory? how many lambs do they have? is it stressful for the lambs to have their mom's sheared? helping shear sheep was such a fun thing to do. even if it wasn't on my "life list" it should have been and now it can be checked off.

but alas. it is now Monday night, (thank-you autosave and sleepyness) and I feel as thought it would be misleading to continue writing this as though it were Sunday night. so I shall have to save my stories, because there are really a couple note-worthy ones. well, at least one more. but for now, I'm tired. and tomorrow is my birthday. so off to bed I go. goodnight.

long blinks.

I was up far too early this morning, considering the hour I went to bed. and today was a most full sort of day. and yet... again. it's late. too late. to blog. tonight. so as my blinks are growing increasingly long, and my typing skills are depleting at the same speed....I'll simply have to leave you with the promise that I'll be back. g'night... from:me.

pink smarties.

yesterday, I met a cute little boy. I think. actually, I'm really not sure. it could have been a girl. but it sure was cute! it all started when I was at a worship service... and I had to use the washroom. yes, a rather unexciting beginning to my story, I know. I meandered through the building, but much to my dismay, I found BOYS cleaning the bathroom. when I mentioned that it looked like I probably couldn't use the washroom at that moment, they snickered and said, "not if you don't want a bunch of men in there with you!" now, don't think poorly of them... they were very kind, but quite immature, and told me they were almost done... and I'd better not make a mess just after they'd cleaned up. so I smiled and wandered over to a vending machine to "look" (AKA burn time as unawkwardly as possible). there I met.... it. he/she. it told me it's name, and the name could easily work for both and he/she was young enough you just couldn't tell. I was so sure it was a boy, but he/she had pink pull-ups hangin' over their camo-pants. and then I was confused. anyway, that is mostly besides the point. Wee Child was staring longingly into the vending machine... and, of course, right at eye level for Child, were the Smarties. I came over and stood beside him/her. Child then looked up at me... with an almost mournful expression, and stuck it's finger on the glass and pointed straight at the Smarties and said, " I like those." so, I bent down and looked with him/her, and said, "oh yes! Smarties! which color is you favorite Smartie?" "pink" Child replied. I nodded my head in agreement, although, looking back on it now, I don't really agree, as I don't really like Smarties at all. and I highly doubt that pink would be the best of all the colors. maybe brown. or red. and I don't know why. I think my mom liked those Smarties best, when I was little (and quite probably even to this day) so I assumed they were the best. anyway, I turned to check on the washroom situation. you may have forgotten about my bladder by this point, but I surely had not. then, Little Child's voice calls out to me and says, "I like you." I turn back towards him/her and smile and a "ya?"then Child gives one solemn nod and explains, "you have nice hair."

*aw*

anybody else could have said that to me and it wouldn't mean so much as it did coming from Little Child's mouth. children have a way of saying what they think... no matter how good or bad that may be. and with such marvelous simplicity. then Child proceeded to tell me about how he/she liked chocolate and how it was good for him/her. and I laughed and told him/her that it was good for me too! and that was our moment. the boys slumped out of the bathroom, with mops in hand, and I said thank-you and made a show of tip-toeing... so as not too mess up their tidy ladies bathroom. you really don't need to know the rest of the story.

and so it ends here.

late night walks.

the city that I live in is rather safe. now, I know a person can be fooled into believing that everything is sunshine and rainbows all of the time here, but I try to be careful, as I know that that isn't always the case. tonight, I went for a walk/run, stuck some music in my ears and breathed in deeply of the wet, fresh, crisp smell. it was lovely and refreshing. when I'm walking by myself I try to be sort of smart and keep one earbud out so I would hear a car pull up, or someone else walking. I also try to stick to main roads where if someone tried to pull any funny business, they would surely be caught. and of course I have my cellphone handy. but, still... sometimes boys are dumb. and tonight a red truck pulled into a parking lot and was talking to me. well, not the truck.... um, the boys inside of the truck. they began to call to me, and I pretended not to hear (I have music in my ear after all!) and continued walking. but, after a few moments, they persisted. I remembered what I learned about sometimes giving someone the "warm-cold shoulder" like I imagine maybe Jesus would. if they're not being crude, there's no reason to be rude. usually. but maybe don't quote me on that. anyway, once there was ample distance between us (yelling distance in fact) I yelled, "pardon me?" they said, "you need a ride?".. I said, "thanks, but no thanks!"... "huh?" "NO THANK YOU!" I said. I turn to carry on my merry way. next question, "how old are you?" honestly? come on. older than you... but I just yelled "20!" and then began to walk away. next question. "are you a hooker?" are you kidding me?! and I got mad... but instead of doing something dumb.. I just walked faster... stewing. I'm wearing a knee-length wool coat over my hoodie and jeans. I have a toque on my head. and I thought about what I would have liked to have said to them. perhaps something along the lines of, "nope. I'm really not. But if I were.... you surely wouldn't be able to afford me." is that bad? maybe. probably. Mom, don't worry. I'll buy some pepper spray sometime.

singing.

tonight I did something very frightening. I sang. on a stage. with a microphone in front of my face. Josh worded it well when he said I like to sing... just not in front of people. it doesn't matter it was only a room full of girls in grades 1-6(?). it doesn't matter that there were three other people singing along with me. I was terrified. but I don't want to be the sort of person who lets fear rule my life. so, instead of refusing, I sang... and....and did actions!! you must understand... I sometimes have a hard time singing a song I don't know very well, and clapping in church... let alone doing actions! but I think it was okay. maybe not the most glamourous job done by me, but maybe it wasn't the worst they've heard either...

the words of my mouth.

language. what a wonderful gift. we're able to do so many lovely things with the words we speak. we have the ability to build each other up... encourage one another... and when someone is having a rough day, we can tell them to hang in there... and know that they are loved. our words wield incredible power. and along with great power, comes great responsibility. because our words also have the power to cut. they can be sharp and thoughtless. and you can't take them back. lately, I've been thinking on this subject and noticing some things about myself that I'm not sure I like. I really try to think before I speak. now this doesn't always happen. you see, I talk a lot and therefore have many opportunities to get myself into trouble with a "slip of the tongue" sigh. and what I've been noticing about myself, and maybe even others too, is that when I'm tired.... my "verbal filter" slips just a little. and other things often can play into that as well... I notice that I'll have quick, stinging remark when that specific situation isn't even the real issue at all. I'll be upset about something else entirely, yet someone else gets the brunt of it. I'm not too wickedly of an angry-type person who takes out that anger on innocent bystanders on a regular biases. my idea of snapping on someone is quite possibly mild in the whole scheme of things. but I know my heart, and I know how unnecessary it was, and that it's probably betsarcater for me to just "zip my lip" when I'm tired or upset. instead of saying something I'll regret. even a sarcastic joke, when spoken with even a hint of truth, can be hurtful. I noticed more than one slip up this past weekend on my part. and had the Holy Spirit tug on my conscience. so what if my day isn't the best? that hardly qualifies as an excuse to be careless in my speech! how much of what people say is simply unnecessary? now I know sometimes things need to be said that aren't fun to hear... but they can be said well. and with love. I want to be a woman who speaks words of life. I want Christ to be evident in my life. and in my speech. I want the words of my mouth, and the meditations of my heart to be pleasing to my Father in heaven.

I didn't mean for this to be a personal growth blog. personal growth blogs have the potential to be boring.

I hope you aren't bored. and if you are, it's alright. I understand. one day I'll be less boring.

today, it snowed. and sometimes I feel more poetic when the weather is miserable. "more poetic" doesn't mean a whole lot... just "more than usual"... and "usual" is none.... so here:

and the day was cold... and it almost became quite dreary.. and surely would have, if not for the large, wet, elegant snowflakes that drifted lazily toward the earth, as though they hadn't a care in the world... until finally coming to their resting place upon her nose and eyelashes. and the world around her was white once again.

dreary.

today was cloudy and wet and utterly dreary. it feels like a cold November's day, only without the promise of Christmas.

but. spring is on it's way. and I hold on to that. and I do suppose that today was a lovely last chance to wear the winter-ish sweater dress'. and boots. and feel very much like I must be in London.

dreary rhymes with weary. that's interesting. it fits so well to say that the weather is "dreary". that's all I have to say and you know exactly what I mean. perhaps, such is the case, because the whole world, all of creation is weary of this.... and is so anticipating the next season. one of growth and new life. and so am I.