Tuesday, October 8, 2013

feelings towards autumn.

I've been sorting through my feelings in regards to autumn. it's a little bit the same every year. I love summer.... if you know me at all, you know I love summer. I love it through and through. even when it lets me down, I go right on loving it. I tend to find it a bit too short. it can be hard to love it as much as you know you need to in such a short amount of time. and well.... let's face it. winter is... tremendously long. impressively long. carelessly long. it's stunning in both it's beauty and it's determined length. and well... I.... it gets kind of.... it could stand to be shorter. to be brutally honest, I find that it kills my souls a little... every February and March. June and July tend to fix the damages.... only to withstand until the next February I'm afraid. and so as the summer dwindles, I find a dread begins to form. tiny at first... small enough I can brush it into the dusty corner of my mind and forget about it. but with the first morning I wake up to find bite in the air, it grows. and pokes it's tired eyes out from the pile of dust. I try to mostly keep the eyes at my back though. I soak up the sunshine on my face a little more appreciatively perhaps, but the eyes of dread don't change much beyond that. but then the first leaf drops on my windshield and it all feels much to quick and my heart sinks and the dread laughs a little. the brave branches on the trees are always the first to be bitten and gradually the rest of the tree relents. the colors around here are mostly shades of yellow. green-yellow is not to be confused with yellow-green. a touch of orange here and there. the rare, but rich red. and with the colors I remember. I remember how much I love autumn. I love it nearly as much as summer. every year I seem to forget. if you asked me as a child I would have said that autumn was my favorite season. every time. now, it's a painful reminder that summer is on it's way out and winter is coming up the steps. there have been times with autumn comes and goes within the span of a week. the winds come and strip the trees of all their boastful colors before they even have a chance to grow haughty. wicked wind. (fall winds always seem more wicked than spring winds, don't you think?) so every year, I cringe when I realize autumn is here. and, every year, I rejoice when I realize that autumn. is. here. I would argue that it is the prettiest season. I would also argue that it's even more too-short than summer. so dread.... go to bed... at least until winter is too long again.... maybe March?

Monday, January 14, 2013

puzzle piece.

step outside. breathe deep the fragrant air. walk through the frost that's rising from it's frozen depths.
hear the lonely bird celebrate. and feel and know, straight to the marrow of your bones, that spring will indeed come again. it's on nights like these, with the magnified quiet and the only sounds coming from the bird and those bold drops of liquid snow... on nights like these ones life feels like a puzzle piece that fits just right.