old.

I've been thinking that I should try to start to get into the habit of blogging on a more semi-regular basis.

and apparently I felt that was important to say.

so. I have three valuable things to tell you. valuable is a term that may mean different things to different people. you may find not a single one of these things valuable, which is fine.... but I'd like to point out that you are here... reading away.

ya, still here, huh? mmmm.... there must be some value.

first item of value: last night we had out annual "mall hunt". last year, I

dressedup as a teenage boy. the ugliest one you've ever seen.

and this year I was a frightening old lady. elderly lady. I didn't mean to be scary.... it just happened.

and just in case you forgot... this how I sometimes normally look. I'd say those are pretty good disguises...

anyway. most of the kids found me.... how annoying.

and for the second point of interest! I'm beginning to feel pretty virtually famous. I'm on facebook. I have a blog. I have more than one e-mail. (too many more than one, if you ask me) I help make youth event videos.... and now... NOW you can download something with my voice on it off iTunes. just search Hillcrest Student Ministries. also, if you go to hillcrestsm.podbean.com you can hit some pretty.... lame... er.. uh.... nifty links! check out December 14th. and voila. fame. has. hit. me. square. in. the. face. but don't worry. I won't forget you all. also... I hope you have by now realized what a sarcastic person I am. perhaps too sarcastic for my own good. but while we're here.... in this "that Danielle sure is an odd one" place, I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest that if you read my blog, you should be proud of it. maybe it's time to be a "follower"... and make lots of comments! or as they say in Australia... make heaps of comments! ;) Tiana. I mean you. (and even if your name isn't Tiana... I mean it for you too) and also.... I will someday figure out how to properly post links. I feel dumb for not having done so yet... I doubt it's very complicated....... if you have advice... feel free to advise. I will welcome it most lots-ly.

and my last thought I'd thunk was this: that day that seemed so far off is suddenly coming all too quickly. I kept thinking today how I leave in under three weeks for Australia. that is.... SO soon! and tonight I said a few goodbyes. that made things a tad more real. I know I won't be gone for all that long... but I'll miss these people!

why are there so many songs about saying goodbye...? it seems that each moment is so much more precious and I have to live so much more in the now moments for fear they'll slip through my grasp too quickly and I won't have the chance to savor each one to the fullness it deserves....

I am glad to go. don't misunderstand me. I'm so excited... and it does feel more real in a good way. and it'll be such a neat experience. I'm so glad to go.... but I feel I'll be glad to come home too. which isn't so bad.

for dinner.

I really enjoy baking... and cooking. but not for just myself. because that's just boring. plus, there's just something nice about eating together. it's makes you feel like family even if you're not. and also, if you are. a family that is. and I decided that I would just be plain selfish to keep the amazing recipes for the things I made today to myself. it was so yummy and I almost feel as though I shouldn't take credit for it, because I just found the recipe on the internet. I just love the internet. since I work at the Library, I often see good recipe books with fancy pictures... and sign them out. I can't even tell you how many recipe books I've signed out of the Library. just lots. and lots. but I hardly ever make the things that are in those books. I've discovered that it's so much better to want to make a certain sort of thing and then just google it. I think allrecipies.com is a wonderful place filled with wonderful things. everything I've made from it has been.... well.... just wonderful. SO... in order to be unselfish, I'm going to share with you what was on tonight's menu. and you can make it tomorrow night.

it wasn't all that fancy.... just super tasty. the main part was "delicious ham and potato soup" (copy and paste the following link into your web browser thingy) http://allrecipes.com//Recipe/delicious-ham-and-potato-soup/Detail.aspx

and then, to go with it, I looked up the recipe for these cheese biscuits I used to make from my mom's cookbook at home. they are actually called "best cheese biscuits" cause they are the best. and they were just as good as I remember them being. simply copy and paste the following blurb to your web exploration thingmabob.....

http://www.food.com/recipe/best-cheese-biscuits-54567

all in all.... a good meal.

and I also promise to not share every meal success with you, as that would transform my blog into a Julie and Julia sort of thing.... and as admirable as that is.... my name is Danielle. not Juli-anything.

rest.

sometimes we get so busy. with life. and all that comes with it. we fill our days with things. good things even. we run here and we dash there, trying to stay standing on top of this wildly spinning world. and then Christmas comes. and we take a deep breath and run a little harder, a little faster. trying to be superhuman.

it seems to me that it just isn't right. like this isn't how we were made to operate. sure... we can, but it just... it just doesn't seem.... right. it seems like we miss out. it seems like you can't stop to smell the flowers when you're running.

and I can't help but wonder if getting sick or getting stuck somewhere or a multitude of other things may be gentle and helpful reminders to slow down .... and it's maybe hard to define what "slowing down" needs to look like....

I like to be busy. but it needs to be a right kind of busy and I think that the world around me has a different opinion than me of what busy should look like. I guess it's simply a matter of right prioritizing. I mean, I like to work. it keeps me busy (insert smile here)... and I get to make money... and I get to do things I really enjoy even. it feels like I'm cheating the system. so... work is good.

but, I need to not feel guilty for not working much more than I need to. I don't prove that I'm a better person by working 60 hour weeks (and I'm not doing that right now... don't worry). it's alright to have a day off and just do things that I enjoy doing. crazy, I know.

and it's not just work. it's all the other little things. and before you know it, you don't have time for laundry or crafting or writing or shopping... let alone a quiet time.

I'm not burnt out. not this time. but I am sick. and I don't have to work tomorrow. so. I may not. I might just take it easy. do those little errands and chores I've been neglecting. but also, do those things I enjoy. and miss. take some time to think. and smell the flowers....

... and not even feel guilty about it.

too short and too long.

it's been too long since I've posted. I've missed it.

life is full. in a thanksgiving dinner sort of way.

it's late, and I'm going to go to bed very soon, so this won't be long. even if it should be.

I'm leaving soon. and suddenly, my time here seems far too short. drat.

I'm afraid I'll have to expand on this thought at a later time. when brain cells are present.

I guess I just wanted to remind myself how to do this whole "blog" thing.

goodnight. sweetest of dreams to you!

a Christmas Halloween.

I would have to say that Halloween is really not one of my favorite holidays. at all. I do love to dress up, and I love the cute kids, and there's always plenty of candy and chocolate bars to be had. I love carving pumpkins and I like the smell of autumn in the crisp night air. I think that carmel and apples make a lovely couple. so I must say that I do like Halloween. it's just really not my favorite. I like what it could be..... but I very strongly dislike the obsession that is clearly evident with all things... icky. why must people take a perfectly good chance to have fun and make it so.... un-good.

ugh.

anyway. I just wanted to say that I had an especially wonderful Halloween this year... I did the whole dress up thing last night and went to a friend's Halloween party. it was splendid. we carved pumpkins and got TWISTERS (ohmanohmanohman. SO good. we have a local convenience store here in town that sells these little gems. you may have heard about them... or even had something similar.. and enjoyed it!.... but I can tell you right now.... what I have experienced is even better. better than anything you can imagine. soft ice cream+lime slush=joyful delight.) and ate carmel apples and such. it was a good time.

BUT TONIGHT... tonight was also very grand. maybe the same level of grand, only with more depth to it. I went with a few friends and got Operation Christmas Child shoe boxes and took them with us as we went shopping! after buying heaps of fun things, we came back to my place and listened to some chill music and pieced everything together. it all fit so perfectly and was such a fun way to spend the evening. tonight, we made five children's Christmases better. they maybe just don't know it quite yet. I just feel so blessed and I want to make sure not to take that for granted and I also know that we are blessed to be a blessing.

or maybe I'm just selfish and I liked doing it cause it gave me warm fuzzies.

whatever the motivation..... it was a good night, and a most excellent way to spend this, two-thousand-ten's, hallows eve.

http://www.samaritanspurse.ca/occ/

elect.

today, I worked the election. it was a pretty long day, but a good one. and I've even got a couple of highlights that I thought just might be worth sharing.

it was "just" a civic election. no biggie. BUT they have these crazy new big machines that you feed the ballots into and it reads your ballot and swallows it and then... at the end of the night, it spits out a sort of tally sheet. and BOOM, just like that, we know who got voted for and how many times..... well, at our own station anyway. the machine is pretty sweet. but it has an uncanny resemblance to our city's new garbage cans. hm.

so I apparently developed habit, as the day wore on.... it went like this: I would put people's ballots in the bin and then wait for it to "go through" the system... and then I would say, "alright! you're good to go!" or "perfect! all set" or something chipper and final to let them know that they could now carry on their merry way. only, as the day wore on even more.... I grew mildly tired... or foggy-brained.... or ..something. and this one gent comes up and we chat and I go through the whole simple and short process with him, and instead of saying one of the options mentioned above, my mouth decides to say, "okay! you're perfect!"

sigh.

it did happen more than once, BUT most people were gracious enough to pretend that it hadn't. not this fellow. as soon as the words departed from my lips, I knew. he chuckled and said, "well, I'm a lot of things. but perfect isn't one of them."

*smile* "a.. haha... aha." sigh.

ok. new story. this very old.er man comes up and has one of those things that makes your voice sound sort of like a robot. and he was so smiley. I liked him. then... he made me like him even more. I pop his ballot into the box (which I only just now realized that I did not even name through the entire course of the day. oh, that is sad. how fun would it be to insert Ballot Box's name into my story right here?!) and it all works just slick as can be. then he says to me, "did you hear the story about the two peanuts?" I like these sort of jokes. the ones that make your sense of humor groan. so I smile and say, "why no. I haven't. what about the two peanuts?" He says, "they were walking down the road... and one of them got assaulted." (get it? a-salt-ed) and my response is something like... "oooh! ba-doom-chhhh" then, right after I appreciate his joke, he burns me! ya! I know right?! I'm a super great sport and so he says.... "well, for a blonde your pretty.... " and snaps his fingers! like he's surprised at my quick understanding of his joke.

honestly.

nothing exciting.

I tried to think of something exciting that happened to me today, that I could share with you. but.... I didn't really come up with a whole lot. it wasn't a terribly bad day... just not that exciting. well, not exciting for you.

but, I've managed to scrounge up a couple tidbits that may be of a mild sort of interest to you.... and a photo..... cause photos are fun. also, if you are a millionaire, I would not be opposed to accepting a gift or two from you. a gift that came in the form of a new and fancy camera. (the kind that is so fancy, I would still discover new things about it months from now... that fancy. like a rubix cube in a toddler's hand. and a rubix cube is so fancy I can't even spell it.) and you could also feel free to throw in a lens or two or three. and could one of them please be a fisheye? thank-you. also, if you wanted to do this... I would make you a homemade thank-you card. honest.

anyway.

the air is feeling chillier and more brisk these days. but I've noticed that that only makes the sunshine feel that much warmer and sweeter. I like that.

today. I had juice poured in my hair. but only a little. I found out it only takes a little and I feel a lot mad. mad is a strong word. it fits. but I drove and brushed it out and everything was right with the world once again. tonight we played taboo in tim hortons. it was a good choice. a girl who was playing was trying to describe the word "agony".... and she talked about cancer... until she had her team on a throughly wrong track. then, she said..... "it rhymes with a-pony". go ahead. try it.

now, I'm going to share only a few too many pictures with you. and explain them. how exciting. oh drat. now I should change the title of this blog. should, but won't.

I like collecting things. but I really, mostly like collecting sand. (also, buttons and marbles, but

only because those look nifty)I collect sand from every ocean-side beach I've been to, and I put it

in a jar. it's becoming a very fun collection. I moved almost two months ago, and this was the beginning of one of my boxes. I just liked this picture.

and next up, we have.... horseback riding day. as you can see, it was a perfectly swell day for that adventure. if you're considering going riding... I highly suggest you wait until the weather is

exactly as depicted in these two photos(I know, two is not enough.. I am sorry. sorrier than you could know. you see, in all my on-the-drive-out-there photo taking, I ran my battery all the way to empty.)

then, I went to San Diego. that was pretty great. and once a year, when I am in Old Navy, with a few friends, we have to take one of these..... this is sort of like Where's Waldo... only it's called... spot the real people. can you tell who is real and who is plastic?

whilst in San Diego, we got

to see "the star of India". she is a very, very old boat. ship. sea faring vessel. whatever the kids are calling it nowadays. and I think she's maybe even the oldest one that still goes out. feel free to try to read the lil info

sign.

I'm afraid to say that that is all I'll be giving you for tonight... as I am getting a wee bit fed up with trying to make my photos go into the places I want them to. any helpful hints?

oh wait. I would also like to leave you with this quote I heard today:

"Dying for something is easy because it is associated with glory.

Living for something extends beyond fashion, glory, or recognition.

We live for what we believe."

-Donald Miller

and they are very wedded.

my room is a mess, yet here I am. it's just been toooo long.

I'm not going to catch you up on everything. lets just pick up where I left off. if thats what you call this which I am doing.

last night, two of my friends got wedded.

last night, I proved that you don't need to drink an ounce of alcohol in order dance like a fool.

last night, I threw the bouquet.

let me expand.

the wedding was very nice. two beautiful people with hearts of gold who love each other very deeply and truly and who both love God with a steady passion, melding their lives into one. one that is stronger together than the two would have been apart. how could a wedding like that not be nice? and then... they went and wrote their own vows. I hate it when people do that! it's so much more sweet and real an... un-cliché. and suddenly your nose seems to be sniffaly and your eyes are hard to see out of. I also very much like getting to see people who I haven't seen in far too long. I think that weddings are something like a family reunion. the only difference being that some people are getting married and there are many people who aren't in your family, but really should be because they are that cool. and you may say, "sooo... not really at all like a family reunion." perspective people, perspective.

anyway.

there was no alcohol at this wedding. and if there had been, I wouldn't have drank it. I'm just not into that so much. and by so much, I mean at all. but... I'm sure that there are some people from off the farm in MB that wonder about us. you see, I went away to San Diego a week ago, and couldn't help but dance. it's like.... I caught a dancing fever. I tried to explain to my friend who was with me, that I'm not usually like this. I'm not ordinarily so crazy as this. but then, I came home. and you see..... at the wedding.... there was... this dance floor. all shiny and wood-looking. and there were little fancy Christmas lights all draped up in sheer fabrics. and then. there were two disco balls. not one, but two. this, in itself.... would be enough to get me up offa my thang. but it gets better. I have a couple girlfriends... and...well, they are.... crazy. and my one friend, I haven't seen in a coons age! sooo.... we had a dance party. that went on for... hours. and.... well, for the most part, no one else was dancing. there were a few tables of older people just visiting and sitting and chatting and drinking coffee. and watching us. and laughing. or judging. I'm not sure. we were even creative enough to be able to incorporate the table runners as ribbons to wave around we glide with grace and ease and much style across the dance floor. three of us alone. well.... alright.... maybe I'm not that grad of a dancer. maybe not even a little. but it sure as heck was fun!

and now we come to the flower chucking part.

you see, traditionally speaking, the bride does a "bouquet toss". and my dear wedded friends are fairly traditional. but... well. they left. and when we were tired and mildly sweaty from our dancing we wandered. we found more delicious juice to drink and looked at the view out the enormous windows.... and as we wandered, we just so happened to wander past the head table. and there were all of the bouquets. and there, in the middle of the long table, lay the biggest and most beautiful bouquet. so... I picked it up, and with little encouragement, meandered to the dance floor once again, where two lovely, and single, young ladies prepared to catch it. and, luckily.... I have a good behind-me sort of aim, and the bouquet was caught! victory! I will admit that it did feel a bit odd to be the one to carry out this ancient tradition, but it's one of those things that just had to be done. it was a sacrifice I was willing to make.

and now, they are married.

I'm working at Starbucks. again. you know what they say.... third time's the charm..

.? I really do enjoy it though. and it's good. because I need to save the money. because the big news I had to tell you is that I'm going to Australia in the new year. just to hang out and explore and maybe work a bit along the way. I plan to read and lay on the beach and journal and take photos and maybe paint lots. I have been there once before. but I'm looking forward to this because I know that it will look very different. this is the city that I plan on spending most of my time in, but my plans are the opposite of being set in stone.

today was Thanksgiving. I have much to be thankful for. this, I know to be true. and so I'd like to share, just a few of these many things. I'm so thankful for grace. I'm thankful for a family that cares for me and loves on me... even when I'm difficult. I'm thankful for the good friends that have come into my life at just the moment when God knew I needed them. and moved on in life when our time together drew to a close.... but I know that in these friends... even the ones who have gone on, I have a longer-than-life-long companionship that I can count one. they will be there for me. and I, for them. I'm so thankful for sweet, sweet memories of the precious time spent together with my friends and family. I'm thankful for stolen summer days, and glowing warm october sunshine. I'm thankful for a motorcycle ride with my dad into a blazing sunset with the frigid wind blowing in our faces. I'm thankful for a brother who makes me proud to be related..... a brother who is fun and smart and so very considerate. I'm thankful for a big, wonderful meal made my mom.. and thankful for her listening ear and understanding. I'm thankful for work and fun people to work with. at all three jobs. I'm thankful for answers to prayer. even in the little things that I too often forget and overlook.

and oh so much more... but right now... I'm feeling inclined to be thankful for a cozy bed and sweet slumber....

... .. ... . .

.

big talk.

somedays, I talk big. I can be pretty good at it too. which maybe isn't the best thing...? maybe. anyway. let's not dwell on that too much. there is this boy who goes to my church, and he really, really likes to play video games. and when I say really, really, I mean REALLY, REALLY. and.... well, he's very good at playing them. maybe that's why he likes them so much... or maybe he's good, BECAUSE he likes playing. either way, he. is. good. like, his-brother-works-in-a-video-game-store good. and so this one time.... well, I can't really remember how it all started.... (that seems to be a common thing lately. weird.) but it started. and I think that it started as he was going off about how good he was/is at playing video games. and... well... I piped up. and told him how I am SO good at N64.

and I said I could beat him.

and I did make myself perfectly clear and told him that I had no video gaming skills outside of N64.... or maybe even some Super Nintendo. he asked about Golden Eye.... and I told him that the only games I am very good at playing are Mario Kart and Smash Bros. and I told him I could beat him. he was in front of his friends and told me that he would beat me at any video game. ever. and I could pick. so I did. I said I would beat him at Mario Kart. then, we decided to make it a real, somethings-on-the-table sort of battle. (again. maybe that's bad....) so, we decided that we would play best 3 out of 5 games. loser buys winner a twister. (if you don't know what a twister is.... well, I feel very sad for you. a twister is a joyous blend of half soft ice cream and half slushie. it tastes good with so many different kinds, but I adore the lime crush. it tastes like I imagine key-lime pie would taste.) so, the bet was on.

tonight, we had the battle.

sometimes, I talk big.

sometimes.... it gets me into trouble.

tonight, it did not.

I won.

whiskers.

I can't remember what began this thought process, but the other day I was suddenly and very clearly reminded of how, when I was but a wee little thing, my dad used to come into my bedroom when I was all tucked into bed... snug like a bug in a rug, and he would lean down to give me a kiss goodnight. I liked this very much. I like kisses and hugs and mushy things like those. BUT... moreso what I remembered is how every now and then, he would rub his cheek against mine and even dare to tickle in that ticklish spot on my neck. this sounds fine and dandy... maybe even "nice".... but you can't imagine the effect it had on me! you see, whenever he would do this, he usually hadn't shaved that day... and so he had whiskers. and it tickled like you wouldn't even believe. when this would happen, I would promptly burst into giggles and squeal like.... like.... something that squeals loudly and joyfully. maybe a train whistle. and squirm. of course. but I loved every minute of it. absolutely loved it. and after a moment you'd hear Mom call, "Rob. Don't get her all wound up!" too late. poor moms. they sometimes get the short end of the stick. you get your kid all settled and then.... Dad goes to say "goodnight". sigh. but I'm fairly certain that each night the whisker incident happened, I fell asleep with a smile gracing my rosy, previously wound up, face.

I'm glad I remembered.

ohmygoodness.

ohmygoodness.

you don't even know.

I'm SO excited.

and a lil teeny sad?

but more excited.

and a bit uncertain.

but SUPER excited.

and here's the news you may hate me for....

I can't tell you about it yet.

sorry.

tomorrow.

or the day after.

on another note... my friend Cheryl has been visiting this weekend, and it's been real nice. literally. how do you say the word literally...? Cheryl says it as though she were from England. and I maybe make fun of her a wee bit for it. anyway.

today we went on a horse ride. we rode horses.... or however you would word that. basically, we got to be cowboys. cowgirls. you know. and it was SO awesome! it was so wonderful and I can tell you a bit more why....

spring came along this year.... as it does every year.... and it made me happy..... this

also happens every year. I like sunshine and outside and nice things like those. anyway.... I can't even remember how we came upon the subject.... maybe we never did. maybe I just randomly blurted out my thoughts.... that very well could have happened.... it has in the past and maybe will continue to happen... every now and then. maybe. anyway. I said... no I declared that this summer.... well, this is how it happened, "I will ride a horse this summer. if it's the last thing I do. I promise." so yesterday, Cheryl and I were sitting and chilling in a cafe, (I say cafe because it sounds better... cooler... than Starbucks.... but, really... who are we kidding. it was Sunday) and I briefly lamented to her about how I hadn't yet rode a horse and I was unsure as to how I would be able to keep my promise to ride a horse this summer.

so, we did what any smart, young girls would do, and googled it. we found this awesome little place and did a mini-road trip to get there...

it. was. amazing.....

if you haven't ridden a horse into the open prairies in awhile... well, you should.

run.

tonight. well, I barely made it here to tell you about tonight... lets just put it that way.

actually let me put it to you the way I put it to my friend via facebook:

"Billy Joe.

I. just. ran.

I. almost. died.

I. won't. be. able. to. walk. tomorrow.

I pushed. maybe to hard? I don't know if that's something you can do. But if it is, my body is now telling me that I did. I'm afraid of what it's going to tell me tomorrow. I ran about 1 km without stopping. then walked back across the bridge, then ran another half km home.

I'll have to think more about this running business.

'cause right now I can't walk."

tonight. I ran.

tonight. I almost died.

I love running. BUT I never do it.... so I'm not very good at it. here's the deal though.... in about 5 weeks there will be a run here in the city that raises money.. for a good cause. it's not too hardcore... like, if I ran often, it could be a very doable thing. but I don't. but it's for a good cause. SO... I may try to see if I can whip myself into shape in time to do this. 'cause.... it's a good cause.... right? right guys?

we'll see.

let's just say that my legs are telling me not to sign up quite yet.....

grump.

it's late, and I'm surprisingly grumpy. it's mostly in a surface sort of way. or so I tell myself. maybe it's just the compilation of too many little things... or not so little things.... coming together to make a great .... or not so great at all.... symphony.

last night I chopped off my friends hair at about 1 in the am. today, I told another friend about that, and he said you should never make big decisions after 10. pm. I agree. not that I always show that I agree with my actions, but the logic is solid.

so maybe my grump roots partially from the lack of sleep.... as it is somewhat difficult to sleep-in in my bright, new, big windowed apartment. or maybe it started there and escalated when I got frustrated. with others, sure, but much moreso with myself. I've had too many of those days lately. actually, today was a most lovely sort of day. mostly. I just. get tired. sometimes. I'm figuring out a some things.... a couple that may be very exciting. I'll tell you more about them when I know more about them. but until then, they'll have to be my little secret.

maybe I'm grumpy because I'm so annoyed with my dreams. not like, the goals-in-life kind of dreams... no, I'm talking about the close-my-eyes-and-sleep-tonight sort of dreams. they are vivid. and wild. and amazing really. and I would really like to just not dream tonight. ya know?

I miss my best friends. and my old friends. maybe that's why I'm grumpy. I think I'm tending to look at everything with my "half-empty" glasses on tonight. so I should count my blessings... as they are many.... soooo many. and just go to bed. cause you should never make an important decision after 10. pm. someone once told me that.

time to lay down the grump.

Lord.

you have been so good to me. thank-you. thank-you for your love. thank-you for your friendship. thanks for your astounding patience. thank-you for your faithfulness. thanks for the most beautiful September 2nd. thank-you for work. and dreams.... the looking forward kind. thank-you for your perfect timing. thank-you for good, godly friends. thank-you for big windows. thanks for a cool roommate and yummy supper. thanks for vision, and sunshine, and the smell of freshly mowed sweetgrass. thanks for laughter and late night Timmie's runs in a funny vehicle. thanks for good memories, and for growth. thanks for music and walking. and coffee and journals. thanks for wisdom, and peace. thanks for warm hoodies on cold nights. thanks for a river I can explore. thanks for family. and new life. thanks for holding my hand. thanks for being a warm blanket when that's all I need.

moved.

so I've packed up and moved. stayed in the same city. but still... packed up everything... and moved.

let me tell you all my new favorite things about my new home....

.e-norm-ous windows, in every room but the bathroom and I wouldn't want that room to have a window anyway.

.I can see a big river out my bedroom window. and maybe the wintertime sunsets.

.big closets. for I have too. much. stuff.

.a workout room

.and lots more things but I'm kind of tired right now....

so now I am sitting here, listening to some easy kind of music... and also listening to the new sounds in this new home. I can smell vanilla. and I just ate a banana chocolate chip muffin. life is good.

sorry I haven't been very creative or witty lately. it comes and goes in spurts. this is the "goes" part of those spurts.

seasons.

the summer days

are gone too soon

you shoot the moon

and miss completely

and now you're left to face the gloom

the empty room that once smelled sweetly

of all the flowers you plucked if only

you knew the reason

of why you had to each be lonely

was it just the season?

now the fall is here again

you can't begin to give in

it's all over

when the snows come rolling through

you're rolling too with some new lover

will you think of times you've told me

that you knew the reason

why we had to each be lonely

it was just the season.

-Norah Jones.

librarian.

I work at the public library. maybe you didn't know.... although I think it would have been hard not to if you've ever read my blog at all. so maybe you did know. but I bet that... even if you knew.... even if you somehow, maybe knew that, I bet that you didn't know that once upon a time.... maybe five years ago or so.... I made a little list of all the things I could be one day... all the things I would like to do in my lifetime. and on that list, one of the things I have written down is to be a librarian. sometimes, its neat for me to remember that. I am, basically, "living the dream".

some days, it's a very good thing to be reminded of.

because on some days, I'm sure that I don't want to do it forever.

but that is besides the point.

the point is that my "friends" make fun of me sometimes. it's all in good fun, and there are actually many things they make fun of me for and I'm pretty good about laughing at myself, and also pretty good about dishing out what I get... so you needn't feel sorry for me.

anyway. like I have mentioned.... they make fun of me because I work in a library (and also because I was homeschooled and also because I have glasses and also because I'm short and also because I wear a retainer on my teeth at night and also because of my high voice and also because of my music and also.... well. you get the idea) (but it's okay. cause I'm cool. and I know that.) (and I'm also sarcastic. more than being cool, I'm lame. BUT I'm okay with lame, and I wear it so it seems cool.)

I didn't take the photo that has me running in it. cause that would have been difficult. but I wanted you to know.

man. I sure am hungry. I wonder if that can be my excuse for being oh-so-very random.

probably not. but look how long this blog looks, and I haven't even gotten to my point yet. whew. I. am. on. a. roooollllllll!

I am so sorry. but I guess if you're still reading, you mustn't mind too terribly much.

anyway. they make fun of me... if I talk about how strong I am and say it's cause I work t the library, they just laugh. imagine! if I talk about the security guy, they laugh and say... "oooh. the library is a pretty dangerous place...." and on it goes.

BUT.... little do they know.... the library is honestly the most dangerous place I have ever worked in my life. so, right there... you can imagine that I haven't worked at too many dangerous places. Starbucks and the Bay and camps are usually kind of normal and nice and safe and fun. you know, good things like those I just mentioned.

let me tell you how dangerous the library is. just today, we had a lady ask to use our phone so she could call the constable because she was sure that someone wanted to kill her dog. (this dog is supposedly a guide dog. but it looks like a little pomeranian. and she carries it. and it's not my job to wonder, but I wonder what it guides her to. or from... or whatever. I'm just too chicken to ask. she would probably call the constable on me.

THEN...

it gets better.

(I like the drama of starting new lines... or whatever you want to call them. I was homechooled.)

THEN.. two cops come in later today, and talked with the Chief Librarian! I tried really hard to listen, but to no avail. SO, my friend at the info desk came and told me that there was maybe a wanted man downstairs on the computer! someone had see a man.. let's call him Lenny... on the computer, looking at a wanted photo on the internet... only it was of himself! so the other fellow went upstairs and, from what I understand, looked it up on the computer himself, and called the police.

how exciting!

so they came. and they left. without a wanted man. but boy, we were so close!

then. one of the girls brought upstairs the outside of non-fiction book. like.. the sleeve. with all the info (barcode and such.) there. the book was gone. someone stole it. "what was the book about?"... you ask. well, let me tell you.... it was just a book about prisons.

yes, prisons.

then. there are the creepers. oh man, how I

LOVE the creepers. actually... it's not always too bad at all. most of them are just bit awkward, and quite harmless. today: there's this one fellow who often calls me sweet thing or some other such non-sense and talks about how I'm looking ... nice. today I had to laugh at him. he told me I was looking radiant in white. "and then... with that blonde hair...." (insert a happy-puppy-dog-with-his-tongue-hanging-out-and-shaking-water-off-himself face here) then we chatted about the government and having books out longer than you should so long as no one has holds on them. it was fun.

then. there are the chillins. (that is gangster for children) somedays.. there are some kids who make me sure that I will not ever have children. but other days.... man they are so gosh durn cute! ie: yesterday. (and I'm about to describe this to you.. like more than I usually would. it was that awesome.)

she bounded up to the desk, light blue eyes as round as saucers and dancing like the northern lights. her hair was dark and wispy and in a wild mess of curls all around her sweet face. she began to chatter away to me in an informative and matter-of-fact sort of way. she talked about how they were bringing their books back and then they were going to get to go into the library and get more books!! as she went on she began to jump up and down just a little towards the end... at the part where she gets to get more books. and I smiled and looked surprised and excited for her, as I felt that that would be the only appropriate response. she was like a fire hydrant. only instead of water, she spouted words. and then, she paused... took in a breath... and said... in an I'm-so-happy-I-could-faint.. or in an I-could-cry-tears-of-joy.... sort of way... she said the words, "I'm so happy" all in one great, deliriously content sigh.

and she made my day.

maybe I should begin to tell you more "a day in the life on a librarian" stories...

process.

ello. hey, at least I'm consistent in my irregular blogging.

but, if I'm honest, I feel the same about blogging right now as I do about my journaling... or maybe even life in general. I feel as though there's just too much. I want to take time, and enjoy things and live in the moment, and share my thoughts here and in my journal... live in and savor each gift of a breath... but I'm so... .. not always very good at that. sometimes I can be. I like those times. I need to take time to process. I need to re-evaluate my life. I need to take a step back and look at the ways I'm choosing to spend my time, look at the relationships I'm cultivating. look at the dreams I'm pursuing... or maybe discover new ones. I need to look around and ask God and myself if I am where He wants me to be.

but more than any one of those things, I need to take a deep breath, lift my eyes to Everything Lasting and then breath out... knowing that I can delight in HIm and trust the plans He has in store for me will be good ones. He won't let me slip out of his careful hands. (and not careful in the cautious way... well, that too... but more-so, in the full-of-care sort of way.) I'm sure God often just puts his fingers to his temples and rubs and sighs.... "oh Danielle. why, oh why do you insist on making this so complicated? it doesn't have to be. its really quite simple. I LOVE YOU. now walk in the knowledge of that. let it overflow in everything you do. abide in my love. quit worrying. drop all those things you carry... that way you can stand tall and free in my love. I think it's better that way.... but feel free to try it my way when you are done and tired of trying it your own way. just never walk away from my love."

whew. that was good for me.

sometime I should tell you about my whack summer. it's been a wonderful sort of chaos. like a tornado of roses... or a stormy raging sea of sweet summer lemonade.

the photo is of my friend Cheryl and I in a vintage shop in Seattle. it was a lovely day.

goodnight.

goodness gracious.

it's probably too late at night for me to write a coherent post. for this, you have my most sincere apologies. but I'm tired. and felt like it would be nice to blog. you can often tell if I'm tired by the way I write. if it sounds random and.... maybe like I've been doing drugs.... it just means I'm tired. I promise I haven't done drugs. well, not the hard kind. just kidding. I did the hard kind. just kidding. I did the soft kind. just kidding. I don't do drugs. I just drink vodka. just kidding. I don't drink. just kidding, I do. drink. water. and sometimes juice. and every blue moon, I have pop.

I have a few things to say. but I won't say them with as many words as they deserve. for the above reason.

yesterday, I was working at that glorious place of endless knowledge, otherwise known as the Library, and a wee little girl was there with her mom and brothers and sisters. she looked to be about 2 or 3. she could walk. and talk in a very small child sort of voice. that's how how she was. and she had brilliant blonde hair that was in little curls all about her head, and her cheeks were round and rosy, and she had big liquid blue eyes. she was walking around... sort of wandering more-so than walking. and she kept saying, "I wanna BE somebody... I wanna be somebody..." in her little lost sounding voice. and I thought, aw... me too! and her mom was laughing and telling her that she WAS somebody... somebody very special. I thought it was a cute story. and it made me think for some reason. but I don't know what reason...

tonight, I went for a walk. at night. alone. I do this often. you may not think that this is very smart, and I may be inclined to agree with you, depending on the night. but I got some street smarts. so don't worry about me, ok? cause I know you were. worrying that is. anyway. on my walk. tonight. I was walking quickly... and listening to music.... and looking at my toes... and then I looked up just in time to see something wobbling away as fast as it could, and it had a black and white tail and it was about 5 ft. away from me. if I had taken 2 more steps, I'm sure I would have come home a stinking mess.

this one is real interesting. I just got back from a mission trip to Costa Rica this past Saturday.

this one time, in Costa Rica, me and a group of people hiked down this HUGE mountain... into a valley, where we helped build a church and did medical clinics and such. but that is besides the point. the point of this part of my story, is that me and mi amigas made a game. each night we had to sleep in tents. so each morning we would wake up and share with each other what we felt like. for example: "this morning I feel like someone threw me in a washing machine and then wrung me through a wringer and then placed me in a dryer to tumble dry. only I missed out on the getting clean part." it was a wonderfully fun game and always got our morning started off with laughter. last night, my friend asked me what I felt. this was my reply: I feel like a sloth in a Mario Kart race. only with lots of twists and turns. and choices to make. quickly. someone just shot grit in my eyeballs from their tires, so that they (my eyeballs) feel like fire ants are playing a game of marbles underneath my eyelids. my back muscles are wound up tighter like the braids in a show-horse's mane. my heart feels strapped upon the back of a bucking bronco that is stuck in an old, silent, slow motion film.

sometimes it's more fun though.

I have more stories. but they may have to wait. I'm going on a road trip to California next week. how wicked awesome is that?! like.... totally. (I'm all brushed up on my surf lingo now.)

I should go to bed now. Cheryl is waiting to read this. love you friend. sweet dreams.

sinner.

this past Sunday, I skipped church. and when you hear my reason, you'll judge me. but it's okay.... it was worth it. a lot has been happening in my life. for one, I found out who "Tim" is. (see car pranking story) he is exactly who I guessed he would be. and Pellula too. and then they had another lil lady helping them out as well. I had suspected her all along, but kept thinking... "no... not Gabby (not her real name :)) Gabby would NEVER do something like this and then lie to my face about it." never.

ha!

well.... she would. and did.

anyway... it's really quite cute. Pellula has an impressive conscience and felt horribly guilty for what she had done.... and once I asked her about she confessed and wouldn't stop apologizing. so I forgave her.

*warning* this could become a very long story and it would even be good. but I can't. not tonight. so I may have to cut some corners. and it may still be long to you. sorry if that bothers you. sorry enough, in fact, to warn you... like I just have. just not sorry enough to change my story-telling.

SO.

I found out who did it... and had been scheming, and plotting, and feeling like a pirate or a gang member or a agent for the FBI. I had a lovely little plan... and this is how it went down. a beautiful Sunday morning rolls around.... right after a rainy Saturday. this is important because Sunday was my first Sunday off in far too long and it was perfect pranking weather. that just seemed more like a gift, I suppose, because Saturday was so rainy and not-perfect pranking weather, but it didn't matter cause I worked. anyway. I was running fashionably late for church and came in and found a spot. not right beside Tim.... but very nearly that. and so I saw him... he saw me. just as I wanted it. then I smiled and sang worship songs while I said sorry to God for being so distracted. right before everyone was going to sit down, I slipped out. smoothly. then, I went to work. I'd already secured a jack and an acquaintance to lend a helping hand. we worked quickly. in no time at all there were 4 tires loaded in my car. what a sweet feeling that was. then, the real work began....

if you were Tim, this is how it could have and should have played out:

church is over. you hope you get to go for lunch with that pretty girl... you go outside. everyone is gathered around your car. laughing. not really AT you... but they are mostly just amazed by Danielle's brilliance. you see a note under your windshield, glowing, starkly white in the sunshine. you rush over and open it. it says, "Llama's like tires. Do you? especially the on-the-top-step kind." hmmm. clever. well, you only know one person with Llama's, and that's your best friend who lives on a farm. well, you have all afternoon and a sunny day to deal with this new adventure. so you ask a good friend to help you out, and he... (or she ;) ) complies. you take a nice drive into the country and, low and behold, there on the top step at your best friend's house is a tire! with a note! boy, Danielle sure is clever! what does it say... "Now I feel like a fire. outside. how about that place with no wood (the church). hmm... since there is no wood.... maybe we can see how rubber burns... :)" what?! she's going to burn my tire! nooooo... so you and friend now race back to the church with a sense of urgency burning at your rear. you hurry to the outdoor fire pit and HAZAA! there is tire numero dos. with a note. brilliant. what does it say? this is kind of exciting... "hmmm.. maybe you should go check out the Library I hear they have books on tires. and on how to find things that are lost. or maybe you could just ask at the lost and found to see if any tires have been turned in." that smart girl! she works at the library!! how embarrassing! now I have to go ask a Librarian for help. they'll know I've been outsmarted by a blonde girl. sigh. so you and friend now meander down to the library. good thing they're open till 5:30 on Sundays. especially cause Monday is a holiday! so they won't be open at all then! you go and humbly ask for your tire at the lost and found. they laugh, at you this time, and take you to your tire, and smile and say have a great day! you swallow and nod. time for the next note. should you be afraid...? "You could see if Levi's dad has any spare tires kickin around... I just hope he has the right kind.... " Levi's house?! that's all the way on the hill. ugh. talk about out of the way. hi Levi's dad.... oh you don't know about a tire...? oh... haha.. uh well... see... ummmm. hm. can I just take a quick peek in your backyard...? thanks! and yes. there it is. right where you can see it. and a big final note: "Dear *Tim*. well, you've now had your fun for the day. glad I could help. you're welcome. tell you friends to watch out. I'm not finished. one point for me. have a good day!" wow. she wins.

but in reality this is how it happened:

church is over. you really hope you get to go for lunch with that really pretty girl. oh, hey... its Danielle's little brother... say what?! no. she didn't. she wouldn't. oh, but she did. did she ever! that... that.... ugh (sound of disgust) well.... I have to work till 10.... sooo... I'll play that card. dang it... she didn't go for it. I'll just have to try to wait her out on this one. oh... but she wins. where did she put my tires?! I'll just be lame and steal her license plate. and my own too. mwahaha.. hello? the police you say?! well... uh... ok... I'll try to call her.... hey... so we have to be done. ya. here's $10 to try to begin to cover the car washing bills I've caused you. I know I deserve all I got and more.

ya. Tim wouldn't go get his tires or send anyone to get his tires on Sunday. and I warned hi, cause I'm not all bad. but nooo.. Monday rolls around and now he wants to know where his tires are. well... too bad brother, I say. and yes. I spoke with a police woman. she told me that she thought it was hilarious. but we had to resolve it. incase a small child was able to pull the cinder block out from underneath the car and got hurt... we wouldn't want to be held liable. so.. it's a good thing Tim had a spare.

I was mad. but Tim and I have talked and decided unspokenly to still be friends. so it's a good ending I think. 'cept he really still deserves a few more pranks.... just so we're even.

and his co-helper has yet to taste my wrath.... :)

it's late.

It's late at night, yet here I am. I need to be sleeping right now, and am not. let me tell you why. I feel that since I have invited you to join me on this hunt for the person who pranked my car, I should keep you informed. I've taken it upon myself to post a couple photos from a couple of the pranks that have been played on me. both with no provocation. (I'm not sure if that's the right word. it's just what spell check gave me when I tried to spell what I'm thinking of) the one with maple syrup and compost is Edwina. my car before Joey. today, as I walked up to my door, after a full day at the 'brary (that's gangster for library), my neighbor stopped me. now, you should know that I have very friendly, and very... uh... hmm.... "interested-in-what's-going-on" neighbors. yes. have you seen "Psycho"? I'm not sure why I think of that movie, but every time I look up, and see her watching me out her bedroom window, I think of it. I wonder if there is a window scene in that movie... anyway, today he comes up and says, "so I see you got a marriage proposal!". I reply..."aha... ha... oh. yeah... I have crazy friends... " (what do I say to that?) THEN... he tells me that his wife saw the whole thing! gold. bingo. money. bonus. jackpot. whatever the kids are calling it now days. hoorah! I ask if I could perhaps take a moment to speak with her. so he calls her out, and she was prrrreeeetttttyyy helpful actually. this is what she saw. there was a small white car-type thing. sort of boxy, like an SUV. and they sat in visitor parking for about an hour. she said that there were three of them, two girls and a boy. the boy had short hair. I asked what color, and she said it looked almost red in the lighting. the one girl had a wrap-type thing around her head, and shoulders, so it was just her face showing. and the girl in the backseat was eating an apple. at this point I'm not longer only thinking about the perpetrators, but also a little about my neighbor... I begin to wonder if she has binoculars. she mentioned that it was when she was about to go to bed, and that she is a night owl. she also that she should really set up a video camera, 'cause she sees lots of other stuff happen too. ...

...

hooooo-kay.

like what? drug deals? great. just great.

anyway, she also said they were my age, and fast.

tonight, I was sitting with my friends. let's say their names are Tim, Sandy, and Pellula. Tim supposedly was pranked as well, but I never totally believed him. I mentioned that me neighbors told me that they saw the prankers the other night... and it got real quiet. I don't know the two girls super well.... but they just got really interested in organizing their cards. I thought maybe.... maybe, if they had nothing to do with it, they'd say something like, "oh... your car got pranked? what happened" but no. just quiet. and Tim pipes up and says... "oh... really? did they get a description?" .... what kind of a response is that?! ya. I agree.... to whatever you said. *incrimination....*

I found this quote: "Delay in vengeance gives a heavier blow"-John Ford

so I am biding my time.

I also got to make coffee tonight. fancily.

I'm bad at this already.

yes. it's true. I haven't blogged in a coons age. but I'm mostly okay with that.

right now, my friends are sitting in my awkward basement, watching "where the wild things are". I'm not too sure what I think of it. actually, I think I don't really like it. but I like my friends. so I am happy.

today was really an exciting day. or maybe I just live an exciting life. or maybe I let unexciting thing be exciting today. you wouldn't even believe all of the things that happened. so I'll tell you, but it's okay if you don't believe them. just know every last bit is true. look. there's even a picture of me with war paint. that's how exciting today was... and I even look tired. wow. how exciting.

oh, but I think it started (the excitement) last night. I posted this on facebook last night, but it feels like I should post it here too... it seems more... permanent that way:

well... you see... this one time.... like tonight. tonight's "one time" I was all like.... "oh! Hey Jamie! Have you seen my cool trick yet?" and she's all like... "why no! I have not!" And so I'm all like.... "hey, do you have any hand sanitizer...." (KIDS, do not, I repeat, do NOT try this at home) and she says yes. she would say yes. so I snatch up a lighter, and say... "ok. let's go to the bathroom" and so we do. and then she pours it on my hand (she would pour it onto my hand) and I ask Wade to light it. and he does light it. (he would light it). and then it's all cool and blue and on fire on my hands. so cool! only then I suddenly have too much sanitizer, and it's dripping down the back of my hand and the sanitizer is starting to burn through too fast, and I try to shake it out (the fire, that is) but that only adds to it's power, and then I try to clap it out... (that's what I usually do) and it doesn't work fast enough.... and I kind of start to freak out a little, so I wipe the fire "off my hand" (that was the idea) and ONTO my pants. so now my pants are on fire and so are my hands and it smells bad. I keep clapping at it, and win the battle against flame. this time. but not without war wounds. and Jamie's sanitizer smelled like watermelon. the end.

now we can talk about today. I started off the way I do most mornings.... by waking up. I was kind of hurrying out the door to get to work (at the library!) and I see my car. poor, poor Josephine. (do you name your cars? or any other inanimate objects? if you don't, you should) anyway.... Joey (that is what I call her for short) was covered in some sort of white powder. not cocaine. just baby powder. or flour. and it had been raining a lot the day before, so it was quite cake-like. then, it also had a great deal of ketchup. a large flower on the back window, and scribbles everywhere. I couldn't see out my windows, and so it was maybe a little bit dangerous. since I was in a hurry. I only took the time to turn on my windshield wipers. so... shoulder checking... was mostly a no go. a did roll down my windows a wee bit, but not too much cause then it was cold. and also the ketchup would go down into the inside of my door. I didn't like that idea too much. but there was one other thing. cereal letters. kind of like alphagetiis, but I don't think they were. I didn't take the time to look too closely. but these letters were arranged on the hood of my car, and this is what they said,

"DEAR DANIELLE

HOW ARE YOU

WILL YOU MARRY ME"

I wasn't even surprised when I saw that she had been pranked. I'm not too sure why. I guess it happens too often. but this time was a little bit different. I decided to keep what had happened to myself, hoping that the guilty party would incriminate themselves. but I only ended up finding out that several... well.... three... maybe four... other people got pranked. same night. it was a very late night for whomever did it. and I'm more puzzled than I've been in a long while. maybe I'll let you know if this gets resolved.

later, there was a bratty little girl in the library.... she kept lippin her mom off... and then told her mom that she was going to put her card in the book drop box, and, of course, her mom told her not to cause then she wouldn't be able to get books. *gasp* a couple minutes later, the little girl put her card-holding hand, almost in the box, and then looked up at me and dropped it. just like that. so I let her. she's not my child right...? she left the library today. without her card. now it's sitting in the lost and found. at least I didn't throw it out. right? right.

THEN.... the craziest moment at the library happened.... a teenaged young lady comes up to the desk and says, "I found this!" and I look. and in betwixt her finger is a mouse! she's holding it by the tail!! and then I see it squirming, and I see it's little whiskers wiggling s it sniffed the air. yes, it is alive! I responded quite well, exclaiming things, such as: "oh my!" "that's a mouse!" "it's alive!!" "you are crazy!!" "you're holding a live mouse!" "what's wrong with you?!" she calmly explains that she just thought she should let us know that she found it running along the top of a shelf in the children's library. ick. so I call to my supervisor and she shoo's the girl with the mouse outside. a little while later, the girl comes back in, and I ask if she washed her hands, cause she should.... and asked where exactly she found it, and my supervisor comes out, and notices that the girl brought the mouse back in.... in her hoodie pocket!!!! whaaaa....?! we finally decided that it was a mouse from a pet store, as it was very mild mannered. (and really quite cute!! you should have seen the little fella washing his face. SO cute!!) and we gave her a box for him. and he pooped in it. and we let her take it home.

tonight, youth was awesome. I was afraid that it would not be awesome, as my youth pastor just had a baby (well, his wife did. woo hoo!!), and was taking a little family time. so I was in charge. and didn't have a huge plan. but I have great helpers, and we put everyone into four teams and each team was a color, and we painted war paint on our faces to distinguish who was with who. it went so well... I think the kids had a really good time. sometimes I pray about friday nights, and God is pretty faithful to take the events that should be crappy and make them rad.

I like paint on my face. goodnight.

baa.

this has been a most lovely sort of weekend. and I have so many highlights and swell stories to share with you, but, alas, I'm afraid you may not hear them all.... I shall try to touch on some of the best moments though. I'm not really sure how to go about this... without it being too confusing.. hmm.. well, let's give it a whirl...

friday.

friday morning dawned bright and glorious. the smell of the morning air was sweet and refreshing. and lots of excitement was in store.... I got to go out to a friend's farm and help out with the whole sheep shearing process. wow. I was so stoked! it was fantastic and I feel like I learned so much! you know how little kids often talk a lot? it's like, every thought that goes through their minds, comes straight out their mouths. well, I really felt like that. I tried to reign in my questions just a tad, but a million thoughts and questions about sheep were running through my mind. such as, do they ever plan their escape? why are some of them mean? why do they jump over a really high invisible wall? how long is their memory? how many lambs do they have? is it stressful for the lambs to have their mom's sheared? helping shear sheep was such a fun thing to do. even if it wasn't on my "life list" it should have been and now it can be checked off.

but alas. it is now Monday night, (thank-you autosave and sleepyness) and I feel as thought it would be misleading to continue writing this as though it were Sunday night. so I shall have to save my stories, because there are really a couple note-worthy ones. well, at least one more. but for now, I'm tired. and tomorrow is my birthday. so off to bed I go. goodnight.

long blinks.

I was up far too early this morning, considering the hour I went to bed. and today was a most full sort of day. and yet... again. it's late. too late. to blog. tonight. so as my blinks are growing increasingly long, and my typing skills are depleting at the same speed....I'll simply have to leave you with the promise that I'll be back. g'night... from:me.

pink smarties.

yesterday, I met a cute little boy. I think. actually, I'm really not sure. it could have been a girl. but it sure was cute! it all started when I was at a worship service... and I had to use the washroom. yes, a rather unexciting beginning to my story, I know. I meandered through the building, but much to my dismay, I found BOYS cleaning the bathroom. when I mentioned that it looked like I probably couldn't use the washroom at that moment, they snickered and said, "not if you don't want a bunch of men in there with you!" now, don't think poorly of them... they were very kind, but quite immature, and told me they were almost done... and I'd better not make a mess just after they'd cleaned up. so I smiled and wandered over to a vending machine to "look" (AKA burn time as unawkwardly as possible). there I met.... it. he/she. it told me it's name, and the name could easily work for both and he/she was young enough you just couldn't tell. I was so sure it was a boy, but he/she had pink pull-ups hangin' over their camo-pants. and then I was confused. anyway, that is mostly besides the point. Wee Child was staring longingly into the vending machine... and, of course, right at eye level for Child, were the Smarties. I came over and stood beside him/her. Child then looked up at me... with an almost mournful expression, and stuck it's finger on the glass and pointed straight at the Smarties and said, " I like those." so, I bent down and looked with him/her, and said, "oh yes! Smarties! which color is you favorite Smartie?" "pink" Child replied. I nodded my head in agreement, although, looking back on it now, I don't really agree, as I don't really like Smarties at all. and I highly doubt that pink would be the best of all the colors. maybe brown. or red. and I don't know why. I think my mom liked those Smarties best, when I was little (and quite probably even to this day) so I assumed they were the best. anyway, I turned to check on the washroom situation. you may have forgotten about my bladder by this point, but I surely had not. then, Little Child's voice calls out to me and says, "I like you." I turn back towards him/her and smile and a "ya?"then Child gives one solemn nod and explains, "you have nice hair."

*aw*

anybody else could have said that to me and it wouldn't mean so much as it did coming from Little Child's mouth. children have a way of saying what they think... no matter how good or bad that may be. and with such marvelous simplicity. then Child proceeded to tell me about how he/she liked chocolate and how it was good for him/her. and I laughed and told him/her that it was good for me too! and that was our moment. the boys slumped out of the bathroom, with mops in hand, and I said thank-you and made a show of tip-toeing... so as not too mess up their tidy ladies bathroom. you really don't need to know the rest of the story.

and so it ends here.

late night walks.

the city that I live in is rather safe. now, I know a person can be fooled into believing that everything is sunshine and rainbows all of the time here, but I try to be careful, as I know that that isn't always the case. tonight, I went for a walk/run, stuck some music in my ears and breathed in deeply of the wet, fresh, crisp smell. it was lovely and refreshing. when I'm walking by myself I try to be sort of smart and keep one earbud out so I would hear a car pull up, or someone else walking. I also try to stick to main roads where if someone tried to pull any funny business, they would surely be caught. and of course I have my cellphone handy. but, still... sometimes boys are dumb. and tonight a red truck pulled into a parking lot and was talking to me. well, not the truck.... um, the boys inside of the truck. they began to call to me, and I pretended not to hear (I have music in my ear after all!) and continued walking. but, after a few moments, they persisted. I remembered what I learned about sometimes giving someone the "warm-cold shoulder" like I imagine maybe Jesus would. if they're not being crude, there's no reason to be rude. usually. but maybe don't quote me on that. anyway, once there was ample distance between us (yelling distance in fact) I yelled, "pardon me?" they said, "you need a ride?".. I said, "thanks, but no thanks!"... "huh?" "NO THANK YOU!" I said. I turn to carry on my merry way. next question, "how old are you?" honestly? come on. older than you... but I just yelled "20!" and then began to walk away. next question. "are you a hooker?" are you kidding me?! and I got mad... but instead of doing something dumb.. I just walked faster... stewing. I'm wearing a knee-length wool coat over my hoodie and jeans. I have a toque on my head. and I thought about what I would have liked to have said to them. perhaps something along the lines of, "nope. I'm really not. But if I were.... you surely wouldn't be able to afford me." is that bad? maybe. probably. Mom, don't worry. I'll buy some pepper spray sometime.

singing.

tonight I did something very frightening. I sang. on a stage. with a microphone in front of my face. Josh worded it well when he said I like to sing... just not in front of people. it doesn't matter it was only a room full of girls in grades 1-6(?). it doesn't matter that there were three other people singing along with me. I was terrified. but I don't want to be the sort of person who lets fear rule my life. so, instead of refusing, I sang... and....and did actions!! you must understand... I sometimes have a hard time singing a song I don't know very well, and clapping in church... let alone doing actions! but I think it was okay. maybe not the most glamourous job done by me, but maybe it wasn't the worst they've heard either...

the words of my mouth.

language. what a wonderful gift. we're able to do so many lovely things with the words we speak. we have the ability to build each other up... encourage one another... and when someone is having a rough day, we can tell them to hang in there... and know that they are loved. our words wield incredible power. and along with great power, comes great responsibility. because our words also have the power to cut. they can be sharp and thoughtless. and you can't take them back. lately, I've been thinking on this subject and noticing some things about myself that I'm not sure I like. I really try to think before I speak. now this doesn't always happen. you see, I talk a lot and therefore have many opportunities to get myself into trouble with a "slip of the tongue" sigh. and what I've been noticing about myself, and maybe even others too, is that when I'm tired.... my "verbal filter" slips just a little. and other things often can play into that as well... I notice that I'll have quick, stinging remark when that specific situation isn't even the real issue at all. I'll be upset about something else entirely, yet someone else gets the brunt of it. I'm not too wickedly of an angry-type person who takes out that anger on innocent bystanders on a regular biases. my idea of snapping on someone is quite possibly mild in the whole scheme of things. but I know my heart, and I know how unnecessary it was, and that it's probably betsarcater for me to just "zip my lip" when I'm tired or upset. instead of saying something I'll regret. even a sarcastic joke, when spoken with even a hint of truth, can be hurtful. I noticed more than one slip up this past weekend on my part. and had the Holy Spirit tug on my conscience. so what if my day isn't the best? that hardly qualifies as an excuse to be careless in my speech! how much of what people say is simply unnecessary? now I know sometimes things need to be said that aren't fun to hear... but they can be said well. and with love. I want to be a woman who speaks words of life. I want Christ to be evident in my life. and in my speech. I want the words of my mouth, and the meditations of my heart to be pleasing to my Father in heaven.

I didn't mean for this to be a personal growth blog. personal growth blogs have the potential to be boring.

I hope you aren't bored. and if you are, it's alright. I understand. one day I'll be less boring.

today, it snowed. and sometimes I feel more poetic when the weather is miserable. "more poetic" doesn't mean a whole lot... just "more than usual"... and "usual" is none.... so here:

and the day was cold... and it almost became quite dreary.. and surely would have, if not for the large, wet, elegant snowflakes that drifted lazily toward the earth, as though they hadn't a care in the world... until finally coming to their resting place upon her nose and eyelashes. and the world around her was white once again.