back.

and so. it's been far too long and i've been missing this without even realizing it i suppose. i left on a rather dreary note, or so it sounds (it wasn't meant to sound quite as murky as it probably did) ..... but.. c'est la vie. you don't appreciate the sunshine quite as fully without the days of rain. i think we all need days of rain. they deepen the soul and show us our desperate need for a rock. my Rock has been unfailingly sturdy. its funny how you can know that your whole life maybe. and its just as true ten years ago as it is now. but the way you know it can change. and maybe sometimes you need to re-learn that truth again. and again..... and even again it seems. so the rain waters us. refreshes us. and we need it even. and i can even appreciate them. but sometimes, i still get tired of the rainy days. call me shallow if you will, but i prefer the sunshine days in my life. the sunshine feeds me and seems to warm my very heart. but now i can strive to take each sunny day as a gift and savor it.

well now. enough of that. on to more pressing matters...

i like vegetables. and i like vegetables so much more with ranch. i don't like that i like vegetables so much more with ranch. it seems..... superficial. or something. but, every time you put a veggie platter in front of me with dip... i'm going to dip. guaranteed. and i'll probably even watch you to see if you think double-dipping is socially acceptable. even if i know its probably not.

at this moment, i'm sitting in the lodge. being that person who's hanging out and loving the noisy quiet and nerding out by reading and writing and thinking lots and looking at the beautiful winter colors and studying the design of the fog dancing across the treetops. i'm here with the school so in my defense it's a different sort of ski day than i'd normally do. and when i say normally i mean once this winter and then about four years ago since the second last time. i enjoy "hitting the slops" (notice my cool snowboarder lingo) a couple times a season and then i'm good. my ski hill tank is full. i like being outside.... so long as it's not freezing. i like going fast.... as long as i don't feel out of control. but probably my favorite thing is going with friends. i can't really see myself ever just going by myself to "be one with the hill".... yeah... no. not me. anyway. i'm glad to be here today. it was so gross outside when we got here, but now the blue sky is showing it's lovely smiling face. we've been so spoiled this winter.

i think i need to learn how to make my writing flow better. it's always so choppy and sporadic. or i could embrace it. call it my "style".... also.... i need to learn how to write interesting things. or write about boring things interestingly. i like doing that. but sometimes i don't like that i'm not always good at it.

my roommate and i have been housesitting AND babysitting three lovely children since a week ago this past wednesday. pretty much playing established parents. taking the kids to soccer.... making supper... doing laundry.... giving baths.... breaking up fights.... it's been fun. that sounds sarcastic but i'm being entirely sincere. don't get me wrong.... i'm excited to be going back to my home tonight.... but this has been pretty great. i've been thinking a lot about how parenting is designed to work. it's ideally designed that you are with someone who is committed to you and you to them. you have a history together and a mutual respect. you can be a team. then, when you find out that you're going to be parents you'll have at least nine months to try to wrap your head around that reality... (more if you've been planning for this) and then. when you first have to be a parent... for reals... the baby can only eat, poop, cry, sleep. and repeat. and as they grow, you can too. you can grow into the parenting role that is required of you. how lovely. it's just so wonderfully thought out and orchestrated. and even though i love these kids, i'm glad i can give them back.

thats all the pressing news that i'm willing to share with you today. i hope you wear a smile today. the kind you see in dental advertisements.