a change in plans.

warning: this is ferociously long. I give you permission to skim.

there has been a slight change in plans. and when I say slight, I mean slightly drastic. I feel as though you may be disappointed in me, and then I feel as though I care maybe too much what others think of me. so let me expand, and maybe even give you my perspective, and if you don't understand, or you are still disappointed, I'm sorry for that.

you see, once upon a time, I decided to go to Australia. people asked me why, and my common response was, "to work and hang out and explore".... but let us be honest here. that wasn't really all. I may not dive overly deep here, but I do want you to have a better picture of this all as a whole. when I decided to come to Australia, I needed to have some space. for a few different reasons. a couple of those reasons changed along the way, but some remained too. I wanted to take a break... a break from life as I knew it. I had/have a really wonderful life back home, don't get me wrong. but like many North Americans, I struggle with juggling those flaming torches called busy. I really enjoy being busy. I do. usually I love the things I'm busy with. but busy needs to be kept within reason. and I think it's so easy to lose a proper perspective on life and how it's meant to be lived when our life begins to speed by on fast forward. things become overwhelming and I become irritable and then I know things have gone wrong when you don't stop to smell the flowers.

I don't really know why I'm going on about this. when I planned on leaving, it had little to nothing to do with busyness. I wasn't out of control. but the quiet, and having this TIME, has been an added bonus. but that's somewhat besides the point at the moment. oh. I feel that this post may not have a very proper flow at all.

alright. I always thought it would be fun to go "live" somewhere else. somewhere that I'm not used to and where things are new and different. I looked at my life and realized that I was/am at an ideal place in my life to be able to do that. I don't have a mortgage to pay off, nor a family to care for. no school or career that I've committed to and no debt tying me down. what more perfect time would there be to do something like this? why not? so I dreamt and prayed and planned to go. as I planned, I began to think of all the purposes I had for this trip. and as I now look at my list (and even then) I see that these are things that can be done anywhere.. you don't have to go to the other side of the world to do them. although... if it's January, the other side of the world has summer, which is a big advantage. so... my plans and "purposes" looked something like this.... more than anything, I really wanted take some time getting to know my God in a deeper way. this is, I suppose, an area where the busyness of life wiggles in and messes with things. it seems that when I get busy, the first thing to go is my time with Christ. but for me to starve myself of the source of my life is a sort of slow suicide. and I dislike the sort of person I become when that happens. anyway. I tend to lean towards the artsy/thinky/explory side of things. so I also wanted to make time to take photos and journal and read those books I don't make time to read. I wanted to wander and see things I hadn't seen before. I wanted sit in cafes and ponder life and drink good coffee. I wanted to shop and skip out on winter and lay on a beach and swim in the ocean and wiggle my toes in the sand. I had planned to work in a cool cafe to support the cost of all these lovely little things. I had also planned to be here for four months.

but the moral of the story is this: plans sometimes change. and that is very alright.

the big news flash is that I'm coming home in a week and a half. so one month, instead of four.

I've decided to simply call it a holiday and recognize how swell it's been and come home and dig into life there. this trip has been everything I've expected and totally not what I'd expected... all at the same time. it's been.. like living a dream. that sounds sickeningly cliche (and I'm not even at the cliche part yet), but it is entirely true. every morning I have my quiet time on "my" veranda. I smell the summer air and hear the symphony of birds and insects celebrating that summer. I see the most beautiful fig tree I've ever seen in my life and a grand old church next door. sometimes the wind-chimes dance... along with the vine that's been creeping towrds me.... closer and closer, every day. I watch a tiny lizard scurry to find a warm brick to be still on, and I watch the clouds race across the hard blue sky. and as I sit, quiet and still, I am refreshed. and what I've just described to you is only the twenty minutes or so I spend on "my" veranda.... think of all the other moments in a day that I could go on about. it's been so, so, SO much of a gift to be able to be here.

but I'm ready. I'm ready to go home. I feel that this trip has turned out differently than I'd originally planned, but I don't mind that at all. it's been a much needed break from life and I feel refreshed and re-focused. (that makes it sound like I now have life figured out. if that's what you got, you got it wrong. fix it quick... to this: "Danielle still doesn't have life figured out, and she's okay with that.") the biggest intended purpose for this trip has been abundantly fulfilled.

and I've learned a few things along the way that I hadn't expected to. I will even make a list for you. because I'm one of "those" people. (now, please bear in mind that this next bit is going to be the cliche sounding bit and that I knew some of these things before, but they were re-instilled into my brain recently.) and actually... this isn't a list I'm making for you. that was a lie. sorry. it's actually a list I wrote in my journal. so a lot of it is simply the sort of thing I would like to look back and remind myself of....
-life is going to mostly be what you make of it. it doesn't have too much to do with location.
-the things you think are important sometimes aren't. and the things you've maybe not thought much of, are more important than you'd once realized.
-I can get freckles.
-life can be lovely and fulfilling anywhere, anytime.... if you're finding your purpose in Christ and clinging to Him. living and loving in Him.
-God doesn't always make things crystal clear.
-they know how to do coffee in Australia.
-there is beauty to be found everywhere... one only needs to look. and the opposite is also true.
-exploring and adventuring are beautiful gifts that we should be more intentional about.
-foreheads can swell if seriously sunburned.
-it's okay to make mistakes.... just make sure to make the most of them. and learn from them.
-don't be afraid to show kindness to a stranger.
-allow yourself to feel. deeply.
-bats in Australia are terrifying and incredible.
-never lose you're ability to wonder and marvel.
-always be willing to learn.
-money doesn't grow on trees. but I believe that God will always provide me with enough. you don't have to be rich to live a rich life.
-try new things.
-everyday. be still. and know that He is God.
-I must create.
-laugh too much and love too deeply. I think God delights in that.
-don't ever live in regret.
-be who He's made you to be.
-delight in His love.
-trust Him.
-never let worry eat away at your days, and eat up your life.
-relationships are important and worth the effort it may take to grow them.
-hold your dreams and plans with open hands.
-read the Bible. period.

whew.

I have a few interesting stories for you, but this post is already far, far, far too long and tends to get even longer when I use the word "far" three times instead of just one, and then continue on to talk about that.

so I'll just end it.... here.